Who’s In Charge?

Who’s In Charge?
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Remember ye the law of Moses my servant, which I commanded unto him in Horeb for all Israel, with the statutes and judgments. Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. Malachi4:4-6

Families Will Always Exist

In these verses, Malachi is telling of an event yet to come on the earth. Immediately after the Church is taken to heaven, there will be a period of seven years in which great destruction and chaos will occur. The nations of the world will be led by an evil dictator known as Anti-Christ. He will control the world’s religion, economy, and government. Instability will be the norm, but Malachi says one aspect of life, which is greatly under attack today, will endure--the family. God will send supernatural help from heaven into the earth to help families remain together and survive the demonic attacks of Satan. Two Old Testament prophets will be sent from heaven to bring this to pass, Moses and Elijah (Revelation 11:3-6). These two prophets represent the power needed to bring and keep families together. They represent the Word (Moses) and the Holy Spirit (Elijah). If God’s power, manifested through the Word and the Holy Spirit, are needed in that day, you can be sure they are needed today. The good news is the family will always exist despite Satanic attack. God’s power will always be available to ensure the success of the family.

The family has always been God’s place to raise and train the next generation. Under the protection and privacy of the family, the child is taught and shown the ways of God. Parents are commanded to “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) Despite the intrusion of government and liberal religion, the family, though wounded, is still intact today. According to this passage in Malachi, God will ensure that His Word and Spirit are always available so families can remain on the earth.

We are told today from "experts" that family is outdated. It is in need of redefining and updating. No longer is a family defined as a father, mother, and children. It can be defined as two men and children or two women and children. Society has also become so complicated that it is assumed parents are no longer adequate to raise and train children. We are told “it takes a village” to raise a child. In other words, if we did not have good schools, daycare, ballet, and karate classes, our children would not be successful. Let me set the record straight. A family is still a father, mother, and children. If your family were on a desert island with only a Bible, you could raise a successful family. Nowhere in nature does it take “a village” to raise offspring. When baby deer are born and begin to walk, they follow the mother. They do not go to deer school. The same is true for cats, dogs, horses, etc. People are no different. Children need to learn the Word of God from their parents and follow their godly example.

Where Does Authority Begin?

In our passage, we are told the power of Holy Spirit will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers. The word “fathers” actually means parents. Notice, unity in a family begins with the parents toward the children, not vice versa. When parents turn their hearts toward the children, the children can then respond back to their parents. God has chosen the parents to be leaders. Authority and leadership flow from the top down, not vice versa.

1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell togetherin unity!
2 It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments;
3 As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life forevermore. Psalm 133

Although a gathering of “brethren” can be anything from a church service to a prayer meeting, it can also include a Christian family. “How good and pleasant it is for a godly family to live together in unity.” True unity can only happen when the Holy Spirit is involved. This was seen in the Old Testament when the priests dedicated the temple to the Lord. When the singers, musicians, and priests were as one, the power of the Holy Spirit came in the cloud and they all fell to the floor. The New Testament tells of the day of Pentecost. When the disciples were as one, the Holy Spirit came in great power and ushered in the Church Age. The Holy Spirit moves into the presence of believers who come together in unity. When He does, two results occur, power and refreshing. Power is seen in the oil that flowed down the body of Aaron the high priest. Refreshing is seen in the dew (mist) that fell on Hermon and the mountains of Zion. This is what is needed in Christian homes in the nations today.

Notice, both the oil and the dew descended and flowed from the top down. Authority in the home begins at the head and flows down to the skirts of the garment. Leadership, power, guidance, and direction begin with the parents (primarily the father) toward the children.

Upside Down Homes

Could the oil flow from the feet to the head? Yes, under one circumstance. The body would have to be turned upside down. This is what is wrong with so many families in our society and in the Church. We have upside down families. These are families led by children and not parents. God does not speak to groups. God speaks to leaders. Groups follow. God may guide children into their eventual call or ministry, but He does not guide the family through the children. God does not speak to children apart from parents. God guided Israel through Moses, Joshua, David, and Solomon. He guides the local church through the pastor. The family is no different. Joshua said, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”. He did not ask the family, he told them. He spoke for them. Perhaps after reading Psalm 133 you are wondering why there is no power or refreshing in your family. I ask one question: WHO’S IN CHARGE?

As the pastor of a local church I have seen many families attend our fellowship for a period of time and then move to another church. They did not leave our church because there was poor worship. They did not go to another church because I failed to feed them the Word of God. They left the church because their children and young people wanted to attend another church. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, “Pastor, my husband and I love this church, but our children have attended the youth group at another church and they feel the presence of the Holy Spirit there. We are going there to keep our fam ily together. One day when our children have moved from the house we will be back.” They fear losing their children and do not realize they already have.

Sadly, many of those familie have never found a church to settle in to. They continue to move from church to church as their children’s desires change. A new church begins, or builds a new youth facility and the children want to go. Parents do not realize they are teaching their children to be led by the crowd instead of the Lord. Parents, lead your family. If God has led you to a church, stay there. Remain faithful. Children are adaptable. If you tell them you are not going to another church, they will become a part of the children’s and youth ministry. It may take a few weeks, but watch it happen. By doing this, you are also teaching your children that leadership comes through the parents. When they move out of the home, they can make these decisions for themselves. Until then, they are learning by example how to one day lead their own children.

Friends or Leaders?

Too many parents are trying to be friends with their children. Children do not need another friend. They need a leader. You can still nurture a close relationship with your child but never at the expense of being their guide. God has made you a leader first. If your children do not get leadership from you, their parents, they will find it from their friends. When a young person is led by the crowd, they can’t help but get into trouble.

David explains this to Solomon in Proverbs 1:10-19. In this chapter, addressed to young people and who they choose to follow, he says “therefore shall they eat the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices” (vs.31). When a parent is led by their child and the child is led by the crowd, the parents are led by the crowd also. We certainly have a nation of adults today who are led by the opinion of the crowd!

Parents, be the leaders your children are crying out for. Let the Word be the standard and the Holy Spirit your guide. As God leads you, lead your family. Be one family under God.

Bob Yandian

If you like this article, check out Raising Godly Kids in an Ungodly World or his book, Family Defined, at the BYM Store.