To the Single

To the Single
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In this teaching I want to specifically address the singles. All of us, whether married or single, must set certain priorities in our lives, and the time to establish those priorities is not after marriage, it is while you are still single. The number one priority in your life should be Jesus Christ. Jesus takes time for you every day and you need to take time for Him every day. He gives you His best, you need to give Him your best. Do not take your lunch hour and try to cram prayer in during the last five minutes or at night when you are exhausted, or swear tomorrow morning you will get up at 4 a.m. to bless God. So often we try to make the big sacrifice for God, but God does not want sacrifice, He wants consistency.

Let's look at 1 Corinthians 7, verses 6-9. Paul says, "But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as one. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. Paul is bringing out the fact that he is single in these verses of scripture. Paul is saying, "I am happy and I wish all men were like me." Paul did not wish that all men were single. If he had been saying that, it would mean that we would have one generation and then everybody would have died out.

What Paul is saying is, "I wish everybody would be as happy as I am, and I am single." Did you know you could actually be so happy single that you wish other people were as happy as you are? Listen to me carefully, marriage will not make you happy. Marriage does not produce happiness. Jesus produces happiness. You have to get happy where you are. Happiness is not based on circumstances. You need to get rid of unhappiness now. If you are looking for marriage to make you happy all you are going to do is bring someone else into your unhappiness. You need to get happy now and bring someone else into your happiness. Verse 6 says again, "But I speak this by permission." The word "permission" in this verse actually translates as "concession." The Greek word means "joint opinion." Paul is not giving us a commandment here, he is giving us his own opinion. But, his opinion, it is the Lord's opinion because Paul is giving a joint-opinion.

Verse 7 continues, "Would (I desire, I wish) that all men were even as myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. One gift is called "this manner" and the other gift is called "the other manner." "This manner" means single life and "the other manner" means married life. Listen very carefully, single life and married life are both gifts from God. You cannot put one gift above the other gift. There came a day when God held out two gifts to Paul and allowed him to choose the gift he wanted. But, Paul said, "Lord, which would you prefer me to have?" And the Lord answered, "I would prefer that you remain single because of the life you are going to live but, you can still make your own choice." Paul responded, "Lord, I am going to go with your wish. I am going to take single life." When Paul accepted the gift of single life, God included with that gift the ability to handle the problems that are associated with single life. Marriage is also a gift from God and along with that gift comes the gift to handle the problems of married life. Many believers are born again and Spirit-filled and yet, they are not happy because they have never taken advantage of the gift God has given them. God never gives you a gift He does not give you the ability to handle the problems associated with that gift. God wants you to be successful in every area.

If you are single, God has given you a gift in the single life to conquer loneliness. So many times the singles get their eyes off of the Lord, His Word, and the provisions of His Word, and they get their eyes on their problems. There are people in crowds who are lonely because they do not know Jesus but, there are also many people who do know Jesus that are still lonely. The reason for this is that they have never taken the time to become good friends with Jesus -they have never tapped into God's Word. That is why it is so important for you to lay down your priorities while you are single.

Beginning in Verse 29 of I Corinthians 7, Paul talks about the blessings in single life. This verse begins, But this I say, brethren, the time is short. Literally, what this means is time is getting shorter. Simply, it means the coming of the Lord is very soon. If the coming of the Lord was soon in Paul's day, it is even sooner today. Paul continues in this verse, "It remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none." Paul is not telling men to ignore their wives and act as a single person. Do you remember how important Jesus was when you were single? Has marriage caused Jesus to lose first priority in your life? Paul is simply saying to remember the time when Jesus was number one, when you were lonely and had no place to go but to Jesus. Remember the times when your spirit cried out and the only place you had to go was to the Word. Remember the tapes you listened to and the books you read. Perhaps since you have been married things have slipped and you have many other things that have crept into your life. Paul is saying, "The time is short, Jesus is coming and you had better get your priorities back to where they were."

Verse 30 continues, "And they that weep, as though they wept not;and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not." Satan is attacking marriages today. What happens so often is marriage gets so bad one or both of them end up crying. Because of their trouble, they leave the Lord off to the side and He is the very answer to their trouble. Again, Verse 30 says, "And they that weep, as though they wept not. Don't let a bad marriage rob you of your priorities. Stay in God's Word and make your marriage a good marriage. Next, Paul says, "And they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not." Don't let a good marriage overtake your priorities. If you will stay in God's Word, your marriage will not only be good, it will get better. He continues, "...and they that buy as though they possess not." Money is not contentment, Jesus is contentment. Keep your priorities and you will keep your prosperity.

Verse 31 is directed to the men. It says, "And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away." This verse is referring to men going out into the world and getting an occupation. Notice what this verse says. There is nothing wrong with using the world except you are not to use it illegally. Free enterprise is God's plan. Man has a right and the ability to go out and make a life for himself and to use the system, not illegally, but to use it to rise from the gutter and get to the top. Again, verse 31 says, "...for the fashion of this world passes away." The word "fashion" is where we literally get the word "fashion" for today. Fashions change every season but Jesus never changes. He remains constant day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year. He never changes. Don't get so wrapped up in a job that Jesus loses first place in your life.

Verse 32 says, "But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord." Notice, if you choose the gift, you have prayed about it and you feel in your heart it is right, then the Lord becomes your portion. You are not incomplete. The Lord becomes your portion and your desires are towards Him to please Him even more. In verses 32 and 33 Paul continues, "But he that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife." Paul is not saying the married person cares for worldliness or sin. When it says, "he cares for the things of the world," Paul is referring to the fact that married people have priorities. He has a job, a wife, children and he must take care of those things and still keep Jesus number one. Verse 34, There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried (single) woman "careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and Spirit, but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." What "things of the world" does a married woman care for? Shopping, groceries, things for the kids, sewing, cooking — all the things involved in taking care of a family. Yet, even with all of these things, she still has to maintain Jesus as top position in her life.

These verses are very simply saying, Think before you get married. Don't jump into marriage thinking everything will work out. Calculate ahead of time that your life will change radically. The Christian life is setting goals and working towards them. I want to give some advice here. If you are contemplating marriage or have just become married, don't jump into having kids. Think before you have kids. Get to know each other first and then plan ahead for children. Women, I am going to give you one more piece of advice. Don't have children to pull your marriage together. It won't work. Children will not bring your marriage together — Jesus will.

Paul says in Verse 35, "And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you (Literally, "I'm not trying to hang you by these words") but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction." Luke 14 and verse 26 says, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." Jesus is not saying to literally hate your wife or hate your husband or your children. He is saying to keep Him your number one priority: His Word, praying in the Spirit, and obeying His commandments. Keep your priorities on Jesus. Jesus gave you your spouse, your children, your job, and your social life. Satan will fight you to get you to drop Him from that number one priority.

Verses 28-32 of Luke Chapter 14 says, "For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him saying, 'This man began to build, and was not able to finish.' Or what king, going to war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace." What is this saying? Before you begin something, count the cost. Jesus is saying to count the cost now. He said, "Continue to seek me first and my kingdom and I will see to it that all these things are added to you" (Matthew 6:33).

Bob Yandian

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