Drunk in Love

Drunk in Love
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Let's begin with Proverbs, chapter 5. The chapter can be divided this way: verses 1 through 14 are telling about the consequences of the strange woman; the consequences of being hooked up with the wrong one. Verses 15 through the end of the chapter speak of the beauty of finding the right spouse. The Word of God is strong in teaching on the area of marriage and sexual relationships. If more of us would have had this type of teaching earlier in our life, we might have avoided many pitfalls Satan has put across our path. But, God redeems the time.

Verse 19 begins, "Let her (your wife) be as the loving hind and pleasant roe." The hind is actually a doe or a female deer. The pleasant roe was not a pleasant roe at all. The word roe means a female goat. That does not infer that your wife is like a goat. Both the doe and the female goat, throughout the scriptures and the ancient world, were known for their beautiful symmetry. Two of the most beautiful creatures God had created were the deer and the she-goat. I think it's interesting here the word pleasant means grace. Your wife is a beautiful grace gift of God. You are to treat her as such. The finest possession you own, next to the new birth, is the wife or the husband God has given you. Far above any other priority in life is the new birth. However, the next highest priority is your spouse. Understand, your wife is a grace gift from God. You should esteem your wife. Women, it is the same for you. Your husband is a grace gift from God and he should be treated as a gift.

Verse 19 says, "Let her," that is your wife, "be as the loving deer and also a she-goat of grace. Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times and be thou ravished with her love."
Men, listen to me carefully. This is saying the wife is to satisfy you at all times. There is not to be any flirtation or sex outside marriage. None at all! Women, I will be as blunt as I can be. Your breasts are for the sexual pleasure of your husband. God did not give them to you to hide them from him or to cause embarrassment. God gave them to you for the pleasure of your husband. When Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, they were naked and not ashamed. The Hebrew word for "ashamed" means embarrassed. They were not embarrassed. A husband and wife can be naked together, find pleasure in each other and in each other's bodies without being embarrassed. This is God's design. He does not turn His head when we remove our clothes. A woman's body is made for the satisfaction of her husband and vice versa.

Verse 19 continues,"and be thou ravished always with her love." Did you ever think about making love and getting drunk? That's what this verse is saying. Let her body satisfy you at all times and then go away and be drunk after love. Be saturated with her love, so taken with it that you end up being drunk. Men there is nothing wrong with being intoxicated with your wife's love. Stop and think about somebody who is an alcoholic. Drunkenness is condemned in the Word of God, but in the spiritual realm, drunkenness is fine. Have you ever been drunk in the spirit where you just staggered around? Ephesians 5:18 says,"Be not drunk with wine wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit." Drunkenness is fine in the spiritual kingdom. In marriage drunkenness in love is fine; to where you actually become an "alcoholic" with love.

Do you know what an alcoholic does? An alcoholic fantasizes during the day over the bottle. Mentally he has drunk that bottle over one hundred times before it actually touches his lips. It controls his thoughts. He is possessed with thinking about it, until that night when he finally gets a hold of that bottle and takes a drink. Women, listen to me carefully. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your husband fantasizing over you. Fantasizing is something Satan has perverted. There is nothing wrong with a husband, at work during the day, thinking about his wife so much that she actually begins to posses his thoughts. By the time he gets home that evening, he has already made love to her mentally fifteen, twenty, thirty times that day. He is so possessed in his thoughts he gets her on the phone because he can't wait to hear her voice again. He thinks about her throughout the day. Quitting time comes, he punches out, runs to the car and lays rubber all the way out of the parking lot. On the way home he stops by the flower shop and picks up a dozen red roses for her. He naturally swings by the store to buy a big bottle of Pepsi because he knows she like it. At home he sees his wife at the door, runs and plants a big kiss on her. He's like a wino sniffing the cork. He knows he is going to get drunk tonight. Why?Because he has thought about her all day long. She has possessed his thoughts.

Listen to me carefully. Love is not sex, however, sex is an expression of love. An alcoholic drinks because he is possessed in his soul with alcoholism and he drinks as the manifestation of it. Sex is not love, but it is an outward expression of the fact that the soul is possessed with love. You are to be so possessed that your thoughts are constantly on each other. Women, your husband is not perverted if he fantasizes over you and his love for you.

Let me expand the translation of verses 20-22, "Why wilt thou, son, be intoxicated with the strange woman and embrace the bosom of a stranger. For the sex life of a man is before the eyes of the Lord and he weighs in the balances all of his actions. He weighs in the balances all of his goings, all of his actions. His own iniquities and perversions shall trap the wicked himself and he shall be held with the chains of his sin." He said, "Son, understand something. When you fall in love with your wife God is going to put a chain around your neck. The more you fall in love with your wife the stronger the chains will get around you both. If you start to run or even think about going the wrong way, the chains of pure love are going to keep you in tow. Son, if you get strapped to an evil woman or a strange woman you might try to break loose after awhile, but it is as useless as an alcoholic trying to change the habit himself. It takes an absolute supernatural miracle for you to change. You might try and run, but like a dog on a chain you will only be able to run so far. That chain will reach its end and she'll just drag you right back in."

God has ordained love. God has ordained marriage. God has ordained that you be infatuated and drunk with love for your wife. Verse 23 says, "He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray." That verse actually says men and women seek after affairs or one night stands; seek after the strange woman and the strange man, because they are looking for folly. They are looking for pleasure, but in that folly and in that pleasure there is a hook. If you go too far, it's like playing around with a bottle. One of these days you are going to get hooked. It's better not to play around. It's better to stick with what God has given you than to be hooked by the multitude of your sins.

Solomon had the finest instructor in David, his father. As David instructed, his
son Solomon listened. But, in many cases Solomon did not heed. Proverbs was written by Solomon when he was at his best. Solomon followed after the precepts of his father for awhile. His wisdom was so staggering that queens and kings from all over the earth came to see him. The Word of God declares that God blessed Solomon with great wisdom because he did not seek after gold and silver, long life, or popularity. He sought after wisdom so he might rightly judge the Lord's people. Because his heart was right before the Lord, God said He would give him the riches. The scale of values and priorities in Solomon's life were right; therefore Solomon was blessed. There was one thing Solomon didn't do in his early life. He did not marry. As he began to go further, he decided to search out things in life. That's what the book of Ecclesiastes describes. Solomon left the Lord and decided he would try to find things in life for himself. He would try to fill the void in his life. He put God on the shelf for awhile and tried to fulfill his own life.

You cannot fulfill your own life. You were made in the image of God and therefore only God, His Spirit, and His Word can fulfill you in life. If you are running franticaly and searching for happiness in life, only Jesus, only God's Word, only the new birth can fill that void. God has ordained happiness for every day life, but you must follow His plan. When you follow your own plan there is nothing ahead for you except what Solomon discovered. That all was vanity and vexation of spirit. The word Ecclesiastes, which is the title of this book, actually means "the preacher" or "the words of the preacher." We think of a preacher today as a man in the pulpit, but I want you to understand a preacher is simply a man with a message. Believe me, Solomon is a man who had a message. If you read Ecclesiastes it will probably leave you depressed. God included Ecclesiastes in the Bible as an example of someone going from the highest to the lowest. Solomon knew the wisdom, the pleasure and the fulfillment of walking in God's plan. He turned from God and hit bottom.

In verse 25, chapter 7 of Ecclesiastes he said, "I applied my heart to know and to search." In other words, he put God on a shelf and said, "I am going to search and I am going to know for myself, to seek out wisdom and the reason of things and to know the wickedness of folly." I want you to see this. He made a cold, calculated decision. He thought "I'm going to find out what wickedness really is. My father told me what it was like but instead of taking my father's word for it and instead of taking God's Word for it, I'm going to find out for myself." This was very dangerous decision. God is always right. You don't need to prove God's Word. God's Word has the capacity and the ability to prove itself. When you flow with God, you will be blessed. You will not be blessed when you flow against Him. Solomon made a calculated decision to follow after folly.

The first thing we discover about Solomon was he had a tremendous sex drive. He decided he would pursue women. We read in 1 Kings 11:1-4, that Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. He literally had 1000 women. He had a harem that would put Egypt to shame. In verse 26, he came to the conclusion that more bitter than death is the woman whose heart is snares and nets. He said it was her heart that drug him in. Why? He became an alcoholic for women. Notice he said, "When I got in there I found out it wasn't anything beautiful at all. I was like a dumb animal walking into a trap. First, she snared me and then she threw the net over me so I could not escape." He continues by saying her hands are as bands. The correct translation is not "bands" but "chains." It's the same word we just discussed in Proverbs, chapter 5. Her hands became chains and when he tried to run from her she pulled the chain and dragged him back in.

I'm sure there may be someone reading this who is involved with the wrong woman. Or a woman involved with the wrong man. God repeatedly tells His Word will keep you from that woman or that man. Some think, "Yes, but Brother Yandian, I have been involved. I have been snared, and I have been trapped. What's it going to take to get me out of this?" It's similar to an alcoholic, a person who is hooked on the habit of alcohol. That habit, like a chain, will pull them right back in. What breaks the habit, the chain? The Word of God. The Lion of Judah breaks the chains of sin. It is the anointing that breaks the yoke of bondage. There is an escape.

Verse 27 says, "Behold, this have I found, saith the preacher, counting one by one, to find out the account." What does it mean to count one by one? Solomon had 1000 women. How could he count them one by one? He had one at a time. "I found counting one by one to come to this conclusion which yet my soul seeketh." Even at the time of the writing of Ecclesiastes, Solomon still had not found the right one who God had ordained for him. You don't find your wife by shopping around. There is nothing wrong with dating. Dating fulfills a part of you. But, my friend, you don't find the right one by going to bed with everybody to see which one clicks. How do you find the right one? You please God. You stay in His Word. You pray in the Spirit. Then one of these days you will recognize the right one when he or she come along. It will click inside of you.

I've talked with so many people who have said, "When I first met them, something inside of me said, 'That's the right one'. Maybe over the next few weeks we might not have thought so. We dated for awhile, argued, and nothing went right. We thought we might not be the right for each other, but there was something on the inside of us that kept saying, 'This is it. This is it. This is it.' As we learned to work out our problems and communicate with each other, it became a stronger witness on the inside of us."

Believe me, the right marriage is as much supernatural as it is natural. Love does not begin from the outside in. It begins from the inside out. It starts with the soul. Verse 28 continues, "Yet does my soul still search." The sad thing about Solomon is he died and still was not married to the right woman. After all these years he came to the conclusion that God was right.

Verse 29, "Lo this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions." The Word of God talks about when He has a plan but you try to use your own. When you shop around you are trying to say, "God, I am going to help you. I'm going to shop around with one thousand women, and out of these, I believe I will find the right one." Understand something. God made you perfect. You are trying to add to God's plan and it will not work. God does have a perfect plan for you in marriage.

Bob Yandian

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